Tell me a Story

I was at a stage in my life where I could feel nothing but the feel of loss and loneliness. I felt like I was having a mid life crisis. I felt ganged up on and overwhelmed by emotions evolving from situations confronting me in the real world and I sometimes would feel frustrated and not know what to do. This was unusual for me because I was usually always generally happy and in a good mood with a certain zest for life, but recently I had seem to lose my magic touch. To be honest, I began to feel like this ever since I started dating men although I had never got to this stage apart from when my first love broke my heart and made me feel like I was a piece of dirt on the bottom of his shoe. I really did love him and he betrayed me and I felt tattered and torn as if a person had just grabbed me and ripped me into a million pieces, or took my heart, stepped on it, broke it in to a million pieces and then given it back to me all sellotaped together. I did not want to feel that way again and after my first love I vowed that I would be my own idol and never let any body, even my first love, ever reject me or make me feel down ever again. I would be my own idol and I would look after number one, which was myself. I did not need no other idol for I did not need anybody else ever again. It was me against the world. The odds were against me but I would come out on top. I decided to get a gun. The power that shook through my body when I had my hand clasped around the trigger of a gun was amazing. I wanted to feel like I had that power all the time and so I decided to carry a gun around with me, knowing that if anybody tried to hurt me, I would slowly lift the gun out of my bag, and shoot.